Finally, I got to watch the movie Acrimony after much persuasion. And boy it was different from the regular love movies I thought it would end like. Continue reading “Life Lessons from the Movie Acrimony”
[dropcap]A[/dropcap]t some point in life, we all crave to get into a relationship. We feel the need to love and be loved back. But how do you enter a relationship? And how do you get in a relationship especially when you have never been in a relationship before?
There are different reasons people have for going into a relationship – some good, some, not so good.
But firstly, ask yourself “Why do I want to get into a relationship? Is it because others have a partner and I don’t?” Get clear about why you need the other person first. It is not just about you but the other person want the relationship? It is a give-and-get mutuality.
Here are some vital tips to help you get into a relationship and build it:
Build your self-esteem
You cannot love someone or get into a relationship with someone else if you don’t love the person in the mirror enough. Inferiority complex is one reason why people cannot get into a healthy relationship and stay. Build self-esteem and get confident about yourself.
Be clear about your relationship goals and don’t let the experience of others deter you
Why do you want a relationship? What do you intend to achieve having and keeping that relationship? What kind of person do you want the relationship with? What do you want it to lead to? And also let the other person know your expectations as they share theirs too.
You cannot have the same relationship experiences as others. This is because their goals are different from yours or they didn’t even have goals in the first place. Because theirs didn’t work out don’t mean you can’t work something out for yourself and your relationship.
Learn what builds and makes a strong lasting relationship
Before you get into a relationship, you need to learn what builds and keeps a relationship. These four are always present in such relationships:
(a). Communication (b). Understanding
(c). Trust (d). Tolerance
Don’t allow familiarity to breed contempt
There are people very close to you that you may take for granted in going into a relationship with just because you see them as friends. You have become used to seeing them and getting into a relationship with them is a NO for many.
Who else will understand you better if not a friend? But most ladies would prefer not to. And even while in the relationship, don’t become bored by getting used to the other person. Learn to respect the other person as time passes.
Watch out for what the other person likes and dislikes – then ask yourself if you can tolerate them or not
They all come in packages. There is something that makes you like someone. There is also a possibility of them possessing something in their behaviour orb attributes you may not like. Focus on the good and tolerate the not-so-good.
You will have something that got them attracted to you and also something that turns them off.
Learn your partner’s strengths and weaknesses and learn to tolerate them. Else, walk…
Start off with the common things
The common things are the ones that unite us. What things do you like that they also like? Where do they like going that they love too?
When you want to enter a relationship, put one leg in first. Then if it is okay you can put the second leg in and be swept away by the currents of love. Love is not blind. Every healthy relationship has eyes and can see clearly what it wants. Enter a relationship with your eyes open.
Are you in a relationship? How did you get into it? What is sustaining it? You can leave comments about how you got into your relationship below. You can also share and follow us on Facebook ♣ Twitter ♣ Instagram for more informative relationships content
[dropcap]M[/dropcap]arriage is for life so you have to be careful choosing who you hitch to. You have to go for the right person. And the person who fits your person in a complementing way. It is not an easy choice to make when settling for a life partner always.
But there are ones that you should never marry. There are some strong negative characters some women possess. So you have to avoid them by all means. Run for the hills and not to the alter if you see these traits in the one you are with. Not all of them can be changed or tolerated.
1. The Controlling Manipulator
She is a head user. She can turn your dada to mop the floor. And she also wants you to obey everything she says. She can make you build a house for her parents on loan. If she makes you to do things against your will that may end you in trouble she is a manipulator. They can make you spoil good relationships in your life.
2. Materialistic Slay Queen
Take-away and shawarma are her favourite. Most likely can’t cook in-house. But she knows how good food tastes and where to order them from. Chief demander and commander of waitress and the maid . She doesn’t know how to do anything and all she may have is beauty. Long nails that can go round wine glasses with flashy eyelashes. Nothing makes her happier than going shopping for expensive shoes, bags, and clothes. Even more happier she is when you are the ATM paying.
3. Immature Lady
She acts like she just wrote jamb and every relationship move with her goes on social media. Any small thing na cry. She may say what she doesn’t mean or go about telling others what happened. Takes almost everything literally. She’s almost not on your level mentally. You feel like asking her to go and have more experience about life before she comes back to you.
4. The ‘User’ Kind of Woman You Should Never Marry
She wan use you leave. Comes round when things are good but the first out the door on rainy days. She can’t stand a day of hardship. May even beg you and promise all the love when you get back on your feet. She can use you to get to something or someone. In her life you are just a means to an end.
5. Comparative Analyst
Another kind of woman you should never marry is the one that compares you with friends and neighbors. You never measure up to par. She knows who has what and almost mocks you if you fall below her taste. “No be your friends the buy new cars every year? Them get two heads? Be a man.” This one can make you feel worthless.
6. Insecure and Jealous Lover
Anything you do is cheating. She doesn’t even want to see you around your female cousin. She can warn your female boss and even tell you to quit the job as she doesn’t like the way one of your office lady looks at you. Strains to hear every conversation you have. Can do anything to get your phone password so she can read your messages and chats.
7. The Complainer
She regrets ever marrying you and hates the relationship. You may get the feeling that she did you a favour by marrying you. Also hardly appreciates efforts. There is always a “but” even after a praise. The money is never enough for shopping. Nothing is good enough. Not even you.
8. The Monitor-General
“I don’t like all your friends. Change them” Madam they are not spare tyres. She wants to see your last chat and who called you about when she was still in bed. She doesn’t trust you and she tells you to your face. Wants to know everywhere you are, what you are doing, and who is with you.
9. The Bitter Feminist
She is always talking about how men are scum and are good for nothing. And she can convince other women to disrespect men and question their authority. She is a man in her right and can do better than a man. She may have had an experience that she doesn’t want to forgive or forget. Then she uses that experience to judge all men. They seem to fight for women rights but how she treats the sales girl or waitress gives her away.
10. The Nagger
Just get ready to buy ear plugs. She can talk loud and quarrel for Africa. You will prefer to sleep on the roof or remain at the club with your boys. The first thing she serves you in the morning is a hot plate of nagging and attitude. If you saw this in your relationship and you go ahead to marry then.
11. The Crafty Liar
Another kind of woman you should never marry in life is the liar. She can lie for Wakanda. She will do and say anything to get you and others to believe her. Ah! She can cry in front of your family and make your mum believe that she is pregnant for you. She calls everyone else liar. But she is the queen of unbelievable lies herself. She will never accept doing something wrong.
You are finished if she has more than three of these traits and you still go ahead to marry her. But if you can tolerate and accommodate her then your choice.
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