The first shocker of my marriage journey started on the 2nd of July. My husband came home moody, unlike him. Continue reading “My Hot Tempered Husband: Part 3”
“I am sorry Kemi, it was the devil that took over me that day. I know I’ve got a hot temper but Continue reading “My Hot Tempered Husband: Part 2”
I will never forget my decision on the 13th of April 20xx that led to the journey of bitterness in my life and marriage. I was a very simple and loving girl until I met Dayo. My mother warned me, but I never listened. Continue reading “My Hot Tempered Husband: Part 1”
[dropcap]A[/dropcap]t some point in life, we all crave to get into a relationship. We feel the need to love and be loved back. But how do you enter a relationship? And how do you get in a relationship especially when you have never been in a relationship before?
There are different reasons people have for going into a relationship – some good, some, not so good.
But firstly, ask yourself “Why do I want to get into a relationship? Is it because others have a partner and I don’t?” Get clear about why you need the other person first. It is not just about you but the other person want the relationship? It is a give-and-get mutuality.
Here are some vital tips to help you get into a relationship and build it:
Build your self-esteem
You cannot love someone or get into a relationship with someone else if you don’t love the person in the mirror enough. Inferiority complex is one reason why people cannot get into a healthy relationship and stay. Build self-esteem and get confident about yourself.
Be clear about your relationship goals and don’t let the experience of others deter you
Why do you want a relationship? What do you intend to achieve having and keeping that relationship? What kind of person do you want the relationship with? What do you want it to lead to? And also let the other person know your expectations as they share theirs too.
You cannot have the same relationship experiences as others. This is because their goals are different from yours or they didn’t even have goals in the first place. Because theirs didn’t work out don’t mean you can’t work something out for yourself and your relationship.
Learn what builds and makes a strong lasting relationship
Before you get into a relationship, you need to learn what builds and keeps a relationship. These four are always present in such relationships:
(a). Communication (b). Understanding
(c). Trust (d). Tolerance
Don’t allow familiarity to breed contempt
There are people very close to you that you may take for granted in going into a relationship with just because you see them as friends. You have become used to seeing them and getting into a relationship with them is a NO for many.
Who else will understand you better if not a friend? But most ladies would prefer not to. And even while in the relationship, don’t become bored by getting used to the other person. Learn to respect the other person as time passes.
Watch out for what the other person likes and dislikes – then ask yourself if you can tolerate them or not
They all come in packages. There is something that makes you like someone. There is also a possibility of them possessing something in their behaviour orb attributes you may not like. Focus on the good and tolerate the not-so-good.
You will have something that got them attracted to you and also something that turns them off.
Learn your partner’s strengths and weaknesses and learn to tolerate them. Else, walk…
Start off with the common things
The common things are the ones that unite us. What things do you like that they also like? Where do they like going that they love too?
When you want to enter a relationship, put one leg in first. Then if it is okay you can put the second leg in and be swept away by the currents of love. Love is not blind. Every healthy relationship has eyes and can see clearly what it wants. Enter a relationship with your eyes open.
Are you in a relationship? How did you get into it? What is sustaining it? You can leave comments about how you got into your relationship below. You can also share and follow us on Facebook ♣ Twitter ♣ Instagram for more informative relationships content
[dropcap]T[/dropcap]here are some things new couple need to focus on early in marriage.
Marriage between two lovers is a beautiful thing. It means joining two unique individuals who are in love together to live as one forever. It is way beyond cohabiting under one roof and making babies. One of the major purposes of marriage is for companionship. And that means you have to be available physically, emotionally, and otherwise for your partner always.
Always remember that marriage is for better for worse. So prepare for the good days and not-so-good days. There are some 7 things new couple should focus on early in marriage.
1. Sex: Lots of it.
In fact, this is one reason why some are married. Most marriages end due to sexual issues. Either one person is not getting enough of it, or one person is getting it from someone else. Either way, the number one thing to focus on, as a young married couple, is sex and lots of it. With each other of course. It reinforces the pair bond you have both chosen to initiate. And it is a hell of a lot of fun when done right. Investing time into the emotional and physical components of relationships pay dividends. Sex is not just for making babies.
Talk, share, be open, honest, carry the load to together. It’s a partnership. If you don’t get this right, the rest is not going to save you. The reason why most people yell in relationships is because they are emotionally distant. But knowing how to communicate early in marriage will save you a lot of headache. Not all communications are verbal. Plus, you also have to study your partner to know how they communicate.
You need to plan everything ahead. Kids – plan how many you intend to have, finance – what to save for future projects, vacations, where to live etc. The more planning you do together, the more you are involved in each other. It becomes hard for a partner to leave after building a home.
Read also Kind of Woman You Should Never Marry
“I Love You…”
Never forget to tell your partner I LOVE YOU every time you can. When you wake up, before you sleep, during means. It is a reassuring statement of love to your partner. Say it even if you don’t feel like it. It will save you in rainy days.
Make and take decisions together as often as possible. This way, even if your partner is not around you will know what to do in their stead.
Share responsibilities together. Thought there are some roles that may be automatically taken up, there are yet others that should be done by whoever can do them better for efficiency. Plan to pick the kids up from school when you have them.
Have a common ground for everything you may likely disagree on before those situations come up. Having a common ground means dealing with and taking decisions about critical issues even before they arrive. There should always be a middle ground to come to when you disagree. Let your bedroom be your supreme court to settle issues.
Follow us on Facebook ♣ Twitter ♣ Instagram and join or community for more exciting topics to discuss on. What other things do you think couples should focus on early in marriage? Drop your comments below.
[dropcap]M[/dropcap]arriage is about love, and tolerance. But there are things men do in marriages that show signs of a man’s immaturity in marriage. A married couple should be complementary to each other for peace to reign. The signs of a man’s immaturity show when he repeatedly does some of these things to the wife in a marriage:
1. Rejecting Food When There’s an Issue
Rejecting your wive’s food is a sign of immaturity in a marriage. Grow up! The only time you should reject food is when it is poisoned. You should not even abandon your home for any reason. You could go somewhere when angry. But ensure that you don’t allow it to linger unnecessarily because that is enough for the devil to build on even though some women can be really troublesome. You bought the food anyway. When you start eating out, you may continue and your wife may think there is another woman. The way your wife gets to your heart is your stomach. Allow her to apologize with her cooking.
2. Reminding your wife that you are the head
Your wife already knows this. Only an inferior-thinking man will tell the wife always that he is the head. When your wife disobeys/ disrespect you she still knows that you are the head. You need not shout or scream it daily. It’s important for you to know when and how to be firm and put your feet down over issues. However don’t become a nagging husband just to prove that you are the head. Be the head and you don’t have to remind her.
3. Wife Abuse/Beating
Beating, verbally abusing your wife, issuing threats of divorce or bragging about marrying another wife does not make you a man. An EMPTY barrel makes the loudest noise. Your strength is in your ability to tame your tongue and control your fist. When she is acting her “childish woman” part, play the “matured man.” Don’t make her feel bad. Honouring your wife means treating her like a queen even when she may not deserve it.
Other Signs of a Man’s Immaturity in Marriage…
4. Reporting Your Wife to Friends and Family
When your wife offends you, correct and talk things through. You don’t have to tell everyone about her mistakes. That will paint her black and sell her cheap such that you will not be able to redeem her back. It will make people disrespect you thinking you can’t run a home and your issues efficiently.
5. Keeping Malice
Is it not funny to know that some men keep malice? Some of them even nag, abuse and call their wives names in public. Don’t let the sun go down without forgiving your spouse for anything you hold against her. It will only make your prayers unanswered.
Read also Why Men Seem to Die Earlier Than Women
6. Not Helping with Chores
The wife is the home builder and keeper. However, it’s not a bad thing if a man lends a helping hand when necessary. Watching football with newspaper in your hand every evening, not caring how stressful the house chores are will only increase the pressure on your wife. And if you truly care you’ll help, just checking on her while busy could encourage and sooth her, this also makes you a good example to the kids especially the boys. Help out with anything you can. Make out time. Some men don’t even say “thank You” to their wives after eating. This may not be one of the signs of a man’s immaturity in marriage if there is already a maid or help who helps out.
Cheating is another sign of a man’s immaturity in marriage. Whatever you can get outside you can get inside and even much more for free. The worst part is that many claim that it is in men nature to cheat. Lies! The ability to not cheat is self control. And that is what makes you a man. Don’t cheat on your beloved. She should be your one and only…