Tag: marriage

focus on early in marriage

7 Things New Couple Should Focus on Early in Marriage

[dropcap]T[/dropcap]here are some things new couple need to focus on early in marriage.

Marriage between two lovers is a beautiful thing. It means joining two unique individuals who are in love together to live as one forever. It is way beyond cohabiting under one roof and making babies. One of the major purposes of marriage is for companionship. And that means you have to be available physically, emotionally, and otherwise for your partner always.

Always remember that marriage is for better for worse. So prepare for the good days and not-so-good days. There are some 7 things new couple should focus on early in marriage.

1. Sex: Lots of it.

In fact, this is one reason why some are married. Most marriages end due to sexual issues. Either one person is not getting enough of it, or one person is getting it from someone else. Either way, the number one thing to focus on, as a young married couple, is sex and lots of it. With each other of course. It reinforces the pair bond you have both chosen to initiate. And it is a hell of a lot of fun when done right. Investing time into the emotional and physical components of relationships pay dividends. Sex is not just for making babies.

Communicate

Talk, share, be open, honest, carry the load to together. It’s a partnership. If you don’t get this right, the rest is not going to save you. The reason why most people yell in relationships is because they are emotionally distant. But knowing how to communicate early in marriage will save you a lot of headache. Not all communications are verbal. Plus, you also have to study your partner to know how they communicate.

Plan

You need to plan everything ahead. Kids – plan how many you intend to have, finance – what to save for future projects, vacations, where to live etc. The more planning you do together, the more you are involved in  each other. It becomes hard for a partner to leave after building a home.

Read also Kind of Woman You Should Never Marry

“I Love You…”

Never forget to tell your partner I LOVE YOU every time you can. When you wake up, before you sleep, during means. It is a reassuring statement of love to your partner. Say it even if you don’t feel like it. It will save you in rainy days.

Decisions

Make and take decisions together as often as possible. This way, even if your partner is not around you will know what to do in their stead.

Responsibilities

Share responsibilities together. Thought there are some roles that may be automatically taken up, there are yet others that should be done by whoever can do them better for efficiency. Plan to pick the kids up from school when you have them.

Common Ground

Have a common ground for everything you may likely disagree on before those situations come up. Having a common ground means dealing with and taking decisions about critical issues even before they arrive. There should always be a middle ground to come to when you disagree. Let your bedroom be your supreme court to settle issues.

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kind of woman you should never marry

The kind of Woman You Should Never Marry

[dropcap]M[/dropcap]arriage is for life so you have to be careful choosing who you hitch to. You have to go for the right person. And the person who fits your person in a  complementing way. It is not an easy choice to make when settling for a life partner always.

But there are ones that you should never marry. There are some strong negative characters some women possess. So you have to avoid them by all means. Run for the hills and not to the alter if you see these traits in the one you are with. Not all of them can be changed or tolerated.

1. The Controlling Manipulator

She is a head user. She can turn your dada to mop the floor. And she also wants you to obey everything she says. She can make you build a house for her parents on loan. If she makes you to do things against your will that may end you in trouble she is a manipulator. They  can make you spoil good relationships in your life.

2. Materialistic Slay Queen

Take-away and shawarma are her favourite. Most likely can’t cook in-house. But she knows how good food tastes and where to order them from. Chief demander and commander of waitress and the maid . She doesn’t know how to do anything and all she may have is beauty. Long nails that can go round wine glasses with flashy eyelashes. Nothing makes her happier than going shopping for expensive shoes, bags, and clothes. Even more happier she is when you are the ATM paying.

3. Immature Lady

She acts like she just wrote jamb and every relationship move with her goes on social media. Any small thing na cry. She may say what she doesn’t mean or go about telling others what happened. Takes almost everything literally. She’s almost not on your level mentally. You feel like asking her to go and have more experience about life before she comes back to you.

4. The ‘User’ Kind of Woman You Should Never Marry

She wan use you leave. Comes round when things are good but the first out the door on rainy days. She can’t stand a day of hardship. May even beg you and promise all the love when  you get back on your feet. She can use you to get to something or someone. In her life you are just a means to an end.

5. Comparative Analyst

Another kind of woman you should never marry is the one that compares you with friends and neighbors. You never measure up to par. She knows who has what and almost mocks you if you fall below her taste. “No be your friends the buy new cars every year? Them get two heads? Be a man.” This one can make you feel worthless.

6. Insecure and Jealous Lover

Anything you do is cheating. She doesn’t even want to see you around your female cousin. She can warn your female boss and even tell you to quit the job as she doesn’t like the way one of your office lady looks at you. Strains to hear every conversation you have. Can do anything to get your phone password so she can read your messages and chats.

7. The Complainer

She regrets ever marrying you and hates the relationship. You may get the feeling that she did you a favour by marrying you. Also hardly appreciates efforts. There is always a “but” even after a praise. The money is never enough for shopping. Nothing is good enough. Not even you.

8. The Monitor-General

“I don’t like all your friends. Change them” Madam they are not spare tyres. She wants to see your last chat and who called you about when she was still in bed. She doesn’t trust you and she tells you to your face. Wants to  know everywhere you are, what you are doing, and who is with you.

9. The Bitter Feminist

She is always talking about how men are scum and are good for nothing. And she can convince other women to disrespect men and question their authority. She is a man in her right and can do better than a man.  She may have had an experience that she doesn’t want to forgive or forget. Then she uses that experience to judge all men. They seem to fight for women rights but how she treats the sales girl or waitress gives her away.

10. The Nagger

Just get ready to buy ear plugs. She can talk loud and quarrel for Africa. You will prefer to sleep on the roof or remain at the club with your boys. The first thing she serves you in the morning is a hot plate of nagging and attitude. If you saw this in your relationship and you go ahead to marry then.

11. The Crafty Liar

Another kind of woman you should never marry in life is the liar. She can lie for Wakanda. She will do and say anything to get you and others to believe her. Ah! She can cry in front of your family and make your mum believe that she is pregnant for you. She calls everyone else liar. But she is the queen of unbelievable lies herself. She will never accept doing something wrong.

You are finished if she has more than three of these traits and you still go ahead to marry her. But if you can tolerate and accommodate her then your choice.

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signs of a man's immaturity in marriage

Signs of a Man’s Immaturity in Marriage

[dropcap]M[/dropcap]arriage is about love, and tolerance. But there are things men  do in marriages that show signs of a man’s immaturity in marriage. A married couple should be complementary to each other for peace to reign. The signs of a man’s immaturity show when he repeatedly does some of these things to the wife in a marriage:

1. Rejecting Food When There’s an Issue

Rejecting your wive’s food is a sign of immaturity in a marriage. Grow up! The only time you should reject food is when it is poisoned. You should not even abandon your home for any reason. You could go somewhere when angry. But ensure that you don’t allow it to linger unnecessarily because that is enough for the devil to build on even though some women can be really troublesome. You bought the food anyway. When you start eating out, you may continue and your wife may think there is another woman. The way your wife gets to your heart is your stomach. Allow her to apologize with her cooking.

2. Reminding your wife that you are the head

Your wife already knows this. Only an inferior-thinking man will tell the wife always that he is the head. When your wife disobeys/ disrespect you she still knows that you are the head. You need not shout or scream it daily. It’s important for you to know when and how to be firm and put your feet down over issues. However don’t become a nagging husband just to prove that you are the head. Be the head and you don’t have to remind her.

3. Wife Abuse/Beating

Beating, verbally abusing your wife, issuing threats of divorce or bragging about marrying another wife does not make you a man. An EMPTY barrel makes the loudest noise. Your strength is in your ability to tame your tongue and control your fist. When she is acting her “childish woman” part, play the “matured man.” Don’t make her feel bad. Honouring your wife means treating her like a queen even when she may not deserve it.

Other Signs of a Man’s Immaturity in Marriage…

4. Reporting Your Wife to Friends and Family

When your wife offends you, correct and talk things through. You don’t have to tell everyone about her mistakes. That will paint her black and sell her cheap such that you will not be able to redeem her back. It will make people disrespect you thinking you can’t run a home and your issues efficiently.

5. Keeping Malice

Is it not funny to know that some men keep malice? Some of them even nag, abuse and call their wives names in public. Don’t let the sun go down without forgiving your spouse for anything you hold against her. It will only make your prayers unanswered.

Read also Why Men Seem to Die Earlier Than Women

6. Not Helping with Chores

The wife is the home builder and keeper. However, it’s not a bad thing if a man lends a helping hand when necessary. Watching football with newspaper in your hand every evening, not caring how stressful the house chores are will only increase the pressure on your wife. And if you truly care you’ll help, just checking on her while busy could encourage and sooth her, this also makes you a good example to the kids especially the boys. Help out with anything you can. Make out time. Some men don’t even say “thank You” to their wives after eating. This may not be one of the signs of a man’s immaturity in marriage if there is already a maid or help who helps out.

7. Cheating

Cheating is another sign of a man’s immaturity in marriage.  Whatever you can get outside you can get inside and even much more for free. The worst part is that many claim that it is in men nature to cheat. Lies! The ability to not cheat is self control. And that is what makes you a man. Don’t cheat on your beloved. She should be your one and only…

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how to identify a wife material

How to Identify a Wife Material

[dropcap]T[/dropcap]o be a good husband means you should know how to identify a wife material. You should already have a material in mind before going to the market to select a clothe. And you can take along your scissors in case your seller’s own isn’t sharp enough.

So, How do you Identify a wife material? Is it cashmere, a new bail material, silk, cotton, wool, or polymer? how many yards of material can you afford?

Identifying a wife material is very important. So, are you identifying for yourself or for someone else? Are you going to sew according to your size or you need the material in different shades? Lol.

To identify a wife material is a tricky and fun venture. Of course there are a lot of things to look out for when you are looking out for a good wife. Because you are meant to do that just once.

In identifying a wife material…

  1. She just likes you for who you are. She isn’t as bothered what  you are but loves you for being you.
  2. She is God-fearing and always prays for you.
  3. She is mature and you can trust her judgement.
  4. Respect is what you get anytime you are with her. Even behind you she respects you.
  5. She is kind to everyone especially children.
  6. You mom talks about her if they’ve ever met. And she likes to remind you to call family if you are far from them.
  7. She is industrious and skilled in everything she does.
  8. A wife material spends money for the right reasons and for the right things.
  9. If you love her meals then it counts as a plus to her being a wife material.
  10. No matter how popular or celebrated she is, she is humble.
  11. She is not tribalistic
  12. She knows what you like and what you dislike.
  13. Gives you space when you need some.
  14. You can’t stay angry at her for long as she always wants you to settle.

There are so many other ways to identify a wife material. If in doubt please feel free to “Ask your mummy or a mother figure.” Remember, you will not always find all these qualities and more in one woman. But the more you find, the luckier the man you are.

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