Some IFs of Parenting

IFs of parenting

This piece was said to be written by Tiruvalluvar (a Tamil poet/writer). It’s one of the ancient sciences on Human Behaviour, which has not changed in spite of modern education  & technology!

They usually happen as a result of a parent saying or doing something. Here are some IFs of parenting:

  1. If your children lie to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.
  2. If your children are not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you’ve lost them.
  3. If your children had poor self-esteem, it is because you advise them more than you encourage them.
  4. If your children do not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.
  5. If your children take things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want.
  6. If your children are cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.
  7. If your children do not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking, you order & command them.
  8. If your children are too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehaviour & you give little attention to good behaviour.
  9. If your children are excessively jealous, it is because you congratulate them only when they successfully complete something & not when they improve at something even if they don’t successfully complete it
  10. If your children intentionally disturb you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.
  11. If your children are openly defiant, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don’t follow through.
  12. If your child is secretive, it is because they are sure that you would blow things out of proportion.
  13. If your children back-answer to you, it is because they watch you do it to others & think its normal behaviour.
  14. If your children don’t listen to you but listen to others, it is because you are too quick to jump to conclusions.
  15. If your children rebel it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right

One great secret to understanding children is seeing them as individuals separately so as to be able to handle them efficiently.

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