Tag Archives: love

My Hot Tempered Husband: Part 3

my hot tempered husband

The story broke my heart so deeply because I had come a long way with Dayo. Why must it be Dayo?

I wished this never happened. How will I quit a relationship that meant so much to me just like that? If I marry Dayo mama will never be happy with me all the days of her life.

I was really confused as love and hatred battled in the spirit. Who will win this battle, love or hatred? My man whom I love so much is the reason why my only brother could not make it to the hospital.

I had already gone deep with him whose anger sent my brother to his early grave. I am now in between two hard decisions to make – to leave Dayo and please mama or to marry him and displease my loving mother.

For a week, I didn’t pick Dayo’s calls nor return any. He sent me several text messages but I ignored them. I was boiling inside of me for the pain of losing a brother because my man was hot-tempered.

Dayo never gave up on me as he kept calling and sending SMS. A week later I decided to reply to his text message.

“Kemi, how are you today? Just checking on you”.

“I’m fine”, I replied. He was so excited seeing me replying his message after one week. Can I pick you up for a date tonight? He texted.

“6:30 pm,” I replied.

By 5:30 pm he was already waiting at our gate.

He called, “Kemi I am at your gate.”

I checked the time and it was 5:30pm.

“But we agreed for 6:30pm, why are you coming this early,” I queried.

“Don’t bother, take your time, I will be here waiting for you,” he said.

“Who was that?” Mama asked me.

“It’s Dayo, we are having a date.”

“No way, I had told you to leave that boy.”

“But mama that won’t be easy for me. I have not even discussed the story you shared with him yet. Let me go with him and relate the story you shared with me and see how he will react to it.”

Mama kept mute, not saying yes or no. I dressed up and joined Dayo in his car and we headed to a Chinese restaurant.

He placed the order, but I was not interested. 

Food or drink was the last thing on my mind. I needed to confront him with mama’s story and hear him deny or accept. He noticed I wasn’t touching any of the things set on the table.

“Kemi, you’re not eating?”

“Dayo I’m not here to eat, I came here with heavy heart and we need to talk.”

“Is it related to how your mother treated me the last time I came to your house? He asked.

“Yes, the reason why she doesn’t want us to be married.”

“I wouldn’t want this good moment to be affected, can’t we discuss that later?” He pleaded.

I took my bag to walk away when he took me by the hand, “please don’t go. We can discuss it, I am all ears.”

“Can you remember what happened on the 2nd of September, 19xx at about 4pm along Ahmadu Bello Way? A day a young man’s car was bashed by an elderly man and the young man got angry and smashed the old man’s windscreen? Can you remember a day a young man slapped a married woman who came in defence of an old man being harassed by a young man? Can you remember…”

“Stop!” he screamed at me. “Who told you all these?”

“That old man was my late dad, the woman with him was my mother and the boy they were taking to the hospital was my only brother who died just when they arrived at the hospital.”

He was dumbfounded for several seconds while his head was buried down.

To be continued…

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My Hot Tempered Husband: Part 2

my hot tempered husband

“Kemi, you cannot marry that boy, not when I’m alive.” Mama said this in anger.

“But why mama?” I asked her.

“You obviously don’t know that boy you brought home to me” Mama sounded like she knew Dayo before now. Mama, do you know him? I asked mama.

“Whether I know him or not is irrelevant for now, I won’t open my eyes wide and allow my only daughter to marry that boy. Go and tell him to go away with his gifts, I don’t want them. He won’t see my face again before he leaves,” Mama left me in the kitchen for her room.

I followed her, “But mama you have not told me why I cannot marry Dayo.”

“At the right time, I will tell you. But he must go now before I lose my temper.” Mama’s voice began to go up.

So that Dayo won’t hear, I left to join him in the sitting room.

The most difficult thing to do was how to convey mama’s message to Dayo. In between mama’s room and the sitting room I wept bitterly. When I joined Dayo in the sitting room, he was agitated, knowing something was wrong. He looked at my face and held me tightly,

“What is the matter Kemi? Oh, I can guess, mama doesn’t like me right?”

It was a difficult question to answer. My tears became the answer to Dayo’s question. Dayo was bitter. He pleaded with me to let him go. I looked at my love being rejected by my mother as he walked away from me. I was grieved seeing him leav with his gifts.

I went back to mama, “Dayo is gone,” I said and my tears moved mama to tears too.

“Kemi, sit down here,” Mama ordered me to sit at her bedside. “I believe you know I love you and I will never allow you to enter into a marriage that will make you unhappy all your life. That boy is hot-tempered and he will kill you someday in anger,” Mama said.

“But you don’t even know him, how come you know he is hot-tempered?” I asked Mama.

“I know him my daughter. Your father will not forgive me in heaven if I allow you marry this boy. How long have you been together?” Mama asked.

“Two years,” I replied.

“And you don’t know he is hot-tempered?”

I kept mute because that was the only challenge I have with Dayo and I have been praying for him. I have seen him getting angry like thrice and his attitude was heartbreaking. But I could overlook it because I loved him and for the fact that no man is perfect.

“When your father was still alive, Samuel was sick and we were rushing him to the hospital in our car but because your father was under duress just to beat the traffic he mistakenly bashed the car in his front. The damage was minimal, just a scratch on his back bumper. He came out of his car and it was a young man.”

“Your dad came out and begged him, “please I am sorry my son, it was not intentional. I could call my mechanic to come to pick the car to his workshop for a repair.”

All your father’s plea fell on deaf ears as the young man began to rain terrible insults on your father. “You old fool, you think my car is like this your jalopy?”

“Sorry my son, I was rushing your younger brother to the hospital, hence I was in a hurry.”

“Who is my younger brother? To hell with him.”

At this time your dad was angry and asked the boy to do his worse. We were shocked when he went and grabbed an iron rod and broke our windscreen right in the presence of other commuters.

“One woman came out of her car and shouted at the boy, ” ‘how could you do this? Don’t you have elders in your family? ‘ ”

“He became so angry and slapped that woman. When others saw what he did, they all came to take vengeance for us but your father begged them not to take laws into their hands.”

“He entered his car and zoomed off. By the time we got to the hospital, your brother gave up the ghost. If we had got to the hospital earlier, your brother would probably still be alive today. You see why you can’t marry this boy, that is the boy who killed your brother.”

To be continued…

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My Hot Tempered Husband: Part 1

my hot tempered husband

I will never forget my decision on the 13th of April 20xx that led to the journey of bitterness in my life and marriage. I was a very simple and loving girl until I met Dayo. My mother warned me, but I never listened.

I thought I was in love, and love could overrule all shortcomings. I now agree with the adage that says, “what an elder will see while sitting down, a young person may not see even if he is standing on a tall tree”.

On the 13th of April, I brought Dayo to my mother to formally introduce him to her as my fiance. It was a Saturday morning and mother had been expectant since I told her I was bringing a special guest to see her. Her joy knew no bound when I told her of my plan to come home with Dayo. I had described the person of Dayo with mama.

How handsome and cute he was. Mama fell in love with Dayo even before she met him due to all I told mama about Dayo. The preparations for Dayo’s visit was like a woman expecting a king.

Which mother won’t be happy when her daughter is bringing a man of her choice to her; a Christian and a rich guy. Mama ensured she stocked the fridge and freezer with all manner of food and drinks just in preparation for Dayo’s visit.

At a time I was jealous because the preparation was just too much. I never had fear if mama will accept Dayo or not because every woman will like him even at first sight.

The long-awaited Dayo finally showed up. When I opened the door for him, I whispered to his ear, “mama will be happy to see you”. I was impressed with his outfit and I knew that will also impress mama because he was wearing white lace. White was mama’s favourite colour.

He bought many gifts for my mum, so we headed to his car to pick the items before joining mama in the sitting room.

“Mama, here is Dayo, my fiancé” I introduced my awaited man to mama. “Ekaro oko mi, “good morning my husband” my mother greeted Dayo.

“I have been waiting for you since my daughter told me you will be coming. I have prepared all manner of food and I want you to be free because this is your house. Please have your seat,” mama offered Dayo a seat.

“My son, what is your name? Mama asked Dayo. My name is Ekundayo Adeoye, Dayo replied.

Then mama looked at Dayo’s face, “Your name is Dayo? And you want to marry my daughter?”

“Yes mama,” Dayo replied with a smile. “I love her ma, and I will like to marry her” he added.

“That’s okay. Kemi offer him something to drink and join me in the kitchen now.” Mama said and headed to the kitchen. I was very happy that mama is flowing with Dayo.

I offered him orange juice and ran to join mama in the kitchen. When I met mama in the kitchen her countenance was not as good as it was when she left the sitting room. I was shocked seeing on my mum with a frowned face.

“Anything the matter mama?” I asked.

I was shocked with what mama told me in the kitchen.

To be continued….

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Best Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for 2019

best valentine's day gift ideas for 2019

Are you feeling a little clueless about how to choose the right Valentine’s Day gift and what it would be? You are not alone…

Picking the best valentine gift for a loved, one as simple as it may sound or look, can actually be tasking. Especially when you are trying to get one before February 14.

Even if you may not personally be marking valentine’s day, the other person may be expecting something. And you better not disappoint.

But not to worry. You are covered on this one. We have put together the possible list of items you can gift a loved one.

Wait!

Before we go on just keep in mid these points to help you decide.

  • You can be with someone but you don’t mark Valentine’s Day. And it’s not a must to show the other person love in their way. But it’s not just about you alone; it’s about them too…
  • Don’t do too much or do too less in trying to get someone a Valentine’s Day gift. Going over the top could scare someone off or pass unintended message(s).

    Doing enough means doing something that the other person may just be expecting or will be positively surprised by. There should be a meaning behind the gift.
  • What is your relationship with the other person? Are you both dating? Is it your father or mother? Do you just want to tell the person you love them in a special kinda way? Or are you just friends?
  • How sweet are you? And don’t even think about thinking to say you forgot. Especially when you are dating. And you better get the other person something that they can brag about (the experience). Because just like their birthday, Valentine’s Day is but once in a year.
  • Make the presentation a special one too. It’s not just the gift given but the way it is given.

When you answer these questions above then go ahead to think of something appropriate.

So, here’s a list of awesome Valentine’s Day gift items we came up with for you:

VALENTINE’S DAY GIFTS IN CATEGORIES:

And yes you could customize gift items and Valentine’s Day cards to make them feel extra special. Plus, you can give some of these gifts regardless of gender.

For Her

Phone rings about 3:30 am on 12th February. It’s John on the line.

“Hey Johnnie, what’s up?”
(Long silence)
I cant sleep…
“Why? What’s the matter?”
I don’t know what to get Tina for Valentine’s Day…

It can be intimidating when it comes to thinking about what to get her.

Whether you’re looking for a compact gift that is packed with feelings, something as fun and playful as a giant teddy bear, or a dramatic present of roses and rose petals all over with a violinist playing in the corner for the woman in your life, we’ve found great Valentine’s Day gifts that are sure to excite her.

And the best part is that you don’t have to break the bank.

  • Scarf –You could get her a scarf of the colour she loves or a red one. Whatever she likes.
  • Shoes   Stilettos, high heels, etc or whatever you have in mind should be comfortable for her and should match something in her collection. Or the wear should match something you intend buying for her.
  • Ball Gown – Red and/or white gowns are killers. It should go with something she already has if she loves the colour you are getting.
  • Perfumes – Eau de parfum, and cologne for women. Something from a collection of a brand she likes will do the job
  • Lip stick – If she uses lip sticks then a red colour or any shade she loves is also a YES to go for.
  • Make up kit – You can get her another set of her current kit if she owns one.
  • Bangles, bracelets, necklace, earrings – Get her any of these jewelries or a set of these if you can afford to. And they better not be tacky.
  • Night Robe – Something she can sleep soundly in and dream about you.
  • A teddy bear with a handwritten love letter isn’t a bad idea either. A letter to tell your sweetheart just how much you care and cherish her and a teddy to cuddle when she misses you. Cool.
  • Chocolate bars and cakes may get her fat. But for today it is an exception. If she is going to take some on her wedding day or already took some on your special day then she can take some more.
  • Flowers – So many sweet flowers have unfortunately died this way all because of love. She will always appreciate them if she is not allergic to them. But they wont last except you are planting a garden.
  • Phone – You could consider buying her a phone if you wish. Some are just great at misplacing phones. Especially around these times. So if her phones goes missing around this period, there you go.
  • The Ultimate Gift – The Ring – If you intend to pop the question on this day then there is no better gift than this!

You mustn’t give these items singularly. You can check out a combination of gifts that go together and give them.

And who says you can’t combine that with a great dinner while presenting the gift(s). It could be the day you pop the question so make the day a smooth one.

Or you could ask another close female what she thinks about a gift you intend buying.

For Him

For women, it’s not easy choosing gifts for men too. And that is why most people have stuck to the tradition of giving men underwear for so long.

Get practical gift items that the man will love. From custom travel accessories that will keep you on his mind and in his heart whenever he’s away, to something he can use/wear while he is around, and anything in between, we will make it easy to find the perfect gift for your man.

Also, be creative about your choice of gift item(s). Try this list:

  • Tuxedo/suit – If you really want to make him feel like he is the man then get him a tuxedo or suit. You cannot misfire when you get a black one of his size that fits!
  • Wristwatch –You can’t miss it with wristwatches. Whether leather strap, chain, or a sporty one. All you have to do is get one that suits his preference.
  • Custom soft robe/towel Adding a personal touch to customize his cozy nights at home by writing his name on the back of that robe will make him feel like Mohammed Ali. Not to talk of when he wraps that towel around or clean himself up with it.
  • Tie(s) – There will always be an occasion to wear a tie even if the man is a t-shirt and jean kind of person. Get him a tie and he will remember you every time he has to wear it.
  • Perfume – Eau de cologne and toilet water are always a yes for a confident man who likes to smell good.
  • Belts –Even if he sags, he will appreciate one of these. And just like a lady can’t have too many shoes, a guy can’t have too many belts.
  • Shoes and socks – Simple wears, loafers, sneakers or leather shoes. You can’t go wrong with them for a man. Nothing too long or too colourful for socks. Just keep it simple if you are getting him a couple. You could even throw in a boxer short here if you are itchy to.
  • Sports gear – He doesn’t have to be a fitness freak or a sportsman before you get him these. Most guys make this their ‘comfy outfit’ at home. And if he’s into jogging or playing sports, get him a canvas, trainers or anything his game requires and watch his face light up as he unboxes his new collection.
  • Packet shirt and Tees – This might be an obvious gift choice but all you have to do is buy his size and it should be the type he likes. Something casual will always be acceptable.
  • Headsets and Speakers – If he loves music, then get him one of these. These can be budget friendly as you can get different types and a guy who loves his music or sports would appreciate these. Wireless ear pods, bass headphones, or quality earpiece is goal.
  • Wallet – This would be a great gift. Especially if he is one to use a wallet for a year. Plus he now has a place to stash some change, his complementary cards, voter’s, ATM, and other identification cards. He’ll love you for it.
  • Cuff links– Like earrings for ladies, so are cuff links to men. He can never have too many of these. Add to his collection. They are small objects that can get lost easily. But give him a pair and he’ll not lose them.
  • Shaving set Even if he is a beard gang member, he would still need to trim some off. If he is a man who likes his face shaven clean, this would be a nice gift. Coconut oil may even make it here. So get some nice clippers if you can.

For Him or Her

The items listed here can be gifted to either him or her:

  • Customised mug/drinking cup Will be very cute especially if you inscribe a romantic message on it. When they sip their warm latte or tea in the morning they will remember you.
  • Books and diaries Are always a collector’s item. Write who it is from and gift them. Can’t go wrong especially when they have been scouting for a copy of the book.
  • Something they can keep on their office desk – clock, pen, pen holder, diary, picture frames etc.

  • Something with their name on it – A cap, a shirt etc

Valentine’s Day Treats

  • A bottle of wine to share together
  • A dinner in a fine restaurant or at home
  • Tickets to go watch a show/movie/act
  • A surprise get-away to anywhere etc. You can get creative with your own list.

It is not only a day of and for lovers… It is also a day to show as much love to the people around you.

Show love, compassion, and appreciation. From a boss to an employee, mother to daughter, and vice versa. You can extend the gesture of love to people you don’t even know.

For Family

For Parents

If your parents (in-law) are alive you can get your dad a bottle of his favourite drink if he is not forbidden to drink it. And maybe a material to sew a simple traditional with.

You can equally get the mothers some wrappers and materials to see her tailor with or get her measurement and get it done for her. How about something for her kitchen?

For Siblings

Get siblings something they’ve always desired.

For Kids

You could get the dude an educational toy, video game, or something to remember you by. Could even be a t-shirt.

You can buy for the girl a dress or a barbie depending on her age. Just be sure it’s something she’d like.

For Friends

Get for your friend something you’d get for yourself…

Universal

Love is a universal language that knows no barriers. You can take it outside your door and still communicate it anywhere.

You can give to those who may never be able to pay you back. And there are always around.

The less privileged, displaced people, migrants, orphans, a new neighbour, widows, people without family etc. Used clothes, food, water, shoes, books etc. Whatever you’ve got can be of use. Share a smile, some hugs and firm handshakes…

THERE ARE NO LIMITS...

Be creative and dynamic enough to really listen and understand the other person you are trying to get a gift for by understand this:

  • There is what you wish to get for them,
  • There is also what they wish to have.

When you can reconcile the two then you can get your loved one(s) the suitable Valentine’s Day gift!

For romantic gift ideas don’t even think about predictable gifts and generic cards. Do something unexpected the next time you celebrate your love. Personalize romantic gifts that will be remembered and cherished for years to come. You can customize gifts to make them more special and meaningful.

You can get them a car, a house, sponsor their wedding, get them a washing machine… There are no limits literally.

If you still don’t have a clue what to get them for valentine’s day then just ask them straight up…

Don’t just talk love; show love. – NaijaFamilyBlog

And there is our list of the best Valentine’s Day gift ideas for 2019.

So how do you intend to celebrate this Valentine’s Day? Do you have any more suggestions you would like to share with us? You can do that in the comments box below.

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How to Enter a Relationship

how to get into a relationship

At some point in life, we all crave to get into a relationship. We feel the need to love and be loved back. But how do you enter a relationship? And how do you get in a relationship especially when you have never been in a relationship before?

There are different reasons people have for going into a relationship – some good, some, not so good.

But firstly, ask yourself “Why do I want to get into a relationship? Is it because others have a partner and I don’t?” Get clear about why you need the other person first. It is not just about you but the other person want the relationship? It is a give-and-get mutuality.

Here are some vital tips to help you get into a relationship and build it:

  • Build your self-esteem

You cannot love someone or get into a relationship with someone else if you don’t love the person in the mirror enough. Inferiority complex is one reason why people cannot get into a healthy relationship and stay. Build self-esteem and get confident about yourself.

  • Be clear about your relationship goals and don’t let the experience of others deter you

Why do you want a relationship? What do you intend to achieve having and keeping that relationship?  What kind of person do you want the relationship with? What do you want it to lead to? And also let the other person know your expectations as they share theirs too.

You cannot have the same relationship experiences as others. This is because their goals are different from yours or they didn’t even have goals in the first place. Because theirs didn’t work out don’t mean you can’t work something out for yourself and your relationship.

  • Learn what builds and makes a strong lasting relationship

Before you get into a relationship, you need to learn what builds and keeps a relationship. These four are always present in such relationships:

(a). Communication (b). Understanding

(c). Trust (d). Tolerance

Read also 7 Things New Couples Should Focus on Early In Marriage

  • Don’t allow familiarity to breed contempt

There are people very close to you that you may take for granted in going into a relationship with just because you see them as friends. You have become used to seeing them and getting into a relationship with them is a NO for many.

Who else will understand you better if not a friend? But most ladies would prefer not to. And even while in the relationship, don’t become bored by getting used to the other person. Learn to respect the other person as time passes.

  • Watch out for what the other person likes and dislikes – then ask yourself if you can tolerate them or not

They all come in packages. There is something that makes you like someone. There is also a possibility of them possessing something in their behaviour orb attributes you may not like. Focus on the good and tolerate the not-so-good.

You will have something that got them attracted to you and also something that turns them off.

Learn your partner’s strengths and weaknesses and learn to tolerate them. Else, walk…

  • Start off with the common things

The common things are the ones that unite us. What things do you like that they also like? Where do they like going that they love too?

When you want to enter a relationship, put one leg in first. Then if it is okay you can put the second leg in and be swept away by the currents of love. Love is not blind. Every healthy relationship has eyes and can see clearly what it wants. Enter a relationship with your eyes open.

Are you in a relationship? How did you get into it? What is sustaining it? You can leave comments about how you got into your relationship below.  You can also share and follow us on Facebook ♣ Twitter ♣ Instagram for more informative relationships content

7 Things New Couple Should Focus on Early in Marriage

focus on early in marriage

There are some things new couple need to focus on early in marriage.

Marriage between two lovers is a beautiful thing. It means joining two unique individuals who are in love together to live as one forever. It is way beyond cohabiting under one roof and making babies. One of the major purposes of marriage is for companionship. And that means you have to be available physically, emotionally, and otherwise for your partner always.

Always remember that marriage is for better for worse. So prepare for the good days and not-so-good days. There are some 7 things new couple should focus on early in marriage.

1. Sex: Lots of it.

In fact, this is one reason why some are married. Most marriages end due to sexual issues. Either one person is not getting enough of it, or one person is getting it from someone else. Either way, the number one thing to focus on, as a young married couple, is sex and lots of it. With each other of course. It reinforces the pair bond you have both chosen to initiate. And it is a hell of a lot of fun when done right. Investing time into the emotional and physical components of relationships pay dividends. Sex is not just for making babies.

Communicate

Talk, share, be open, honest, carry the load to together. It’s a partnership. If you don’t get this right, the rest is not going to save you. The reason why most people yell in relationships is because they are emotionally distant. But knowing how to communicate early in marriage will save you a lot of headache. Not all communications are verbal. Plus, you also have to study your partner to know how they communicate.

Plan

You need to plan everything ahead. Kids – plan how many you intend to have, finance – what to save for future projects, vacations, where to live etc. The more planning you do together, the more you are involved in  each other. It becomes hard for a partner to leave after building a home.

Read also Kind of Woman You Should Never Marry

“I Love You…”

Never forget to tell your partner I LOVE YOU every time you can. When you wake up, before you sleep, during means. It is a reassuring statement of love to your partner. Say it even if you don’t feel like it. It will save you in rainy days.

Decisions

Make and take decisions together as often as possible. This way, even if your partner is not around you will know what to do in their stead.

Responsibilities

Share responsibilities together. Thought there are some roles that may be automatically taken up, there are yet others that should be done by whoever can do them better for efficiency. Plan to pick the kids up from school when you have them.

Common Ground

Have a common ground for everything you may likely disagree on before those situations come up. Having a common ground means dealing with and taking decisions about critical issues even before they arrive. There should always be a middle ground to come to when you disagree. Let your bedroom be your supreme court to settle issues.

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