Monthly Archives: March 2019

My Hot Tempered Husband: Part 3

my hot tempered husband

The story broke my heart so deeply because I had come a long way with Dayo. Why must it be Dayo?

I wished this never happened. How will I quit a relationship that meant so much to me just like that? If I marry Dayo mama will never be happy with me all the days of her life.

I was really confused as love and hatred battled in the spirit. Who will win this battle, love or hatred? My man whom I love so much is the reason why my only brother could not make it to the hospital.

I had already gone deep with him whose anger sent my brother to his early grave. I am now in between two hard decisions to make – to leave Dayo and please mama or to marry him and displease my loving mother.

For a week, I didn’t pick Dayo’s calls nor return any. He sent me several text messages but I ignored them. I was boiling inside of me for the pain of losing a brother because my man was hot-tempered.

Dayo never gave up on me as he kept calling and sending SMS. A week later I decided to reply to his text message.

“Kemi, how are you today? Just checking on you”.

“I’m fine”, I replied. He was so excited seeing me replying his message after one week. Can I pick you up for a date tonight? He texted.

“6:30 pm,” I replied.

By 5:30 pm he was already waiting at our gate.

He called, “Kemi I am at your gate.”

I checked the time and it was 5:30pm.

“But we agreed for 6:30pm, why are you coming this early,” I queried.

“Don’t bother, take your time, I will be here waiting for you,” he said.

“Who was that?” Mama asked me.

“It’s Dayo, we are having a date.”

“No way, I had told you to leave that boy.”

“But mama that won’t be easy for me. I have not even discussed the story you shared with him yet. Let me go with him and relate the story you shared with me and see how he will react to it.”

Mama kept mute, not saying yes or no. I dressed up and joined Dayo in his car and we headed to a Chinese restaurant.

He placed the order, but I was not interested. 

Food or drink was the last thing on my mind. I needed to confront him with mama’s story and hear him deny or accept. He noticed I wasn’t touching any of the things set on the table.

“Kemi, you’re not eating?”

“Dayo I’m not here to eat, I came here with heavy heart and we need to talk.”

“Is it related to how your mother treated me the last time I came to your house? He asked.

“Yes, the reason why she doesn’t want us to be married.”

“I wouldn’t want this good moment to be affected, can’t we discuss that later?” He pleaded.

I took my bag to walk away when he took me by the hand, “please don’t go. We can discuss it, I am all ears.”

“Can you remember what happened on the 2nd of September, 19xx at about 4pm along Ahmadu Bello Way? A day a young man’s car was bashed by an elderly man and the young man got angry and smashed the old man’s windscreen? Can you remember a day a young man slapped a married woman who came in defence of an old man being harassed by a young man? Can you remember…”

“Stop!” he screamed at me. “Who told you all these?”

“That old man was my late dad, the woman with him was my mother and the boy they were taking to the hospital was my only brother who died just when they arrived at the hospital.”

He was dumbfounded for several seconds while his head was buried down.

To be continued…

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My Hot Tempered Husband: Part 2

my hot tempered husband

“Kemi, you cannot marry that boy, not when I’m alive.” Mama said this in anger.

“But why mama?” I asked her.

“You obviously don’t know that boy you brought home to me” Mama sounded like she knew Dayo before now. Mama, do you know him? I asked mama.

“Whether I know him or not is irrelevant for now, I won’t open my eyes wide and allow my only daughter to marry that boy. Go and tell him to go away with his gifts, I don’t want them. He won’t see my face again before he leaves,” Mama left me in the kitchen for her room.

I followed her, “But mama you have not told me why I cannot marry Dayo.”

“At the right time, I will tell you. But he must go now before I lose my temper.” Mama’s voice began to go up.

So that Dayo won’t hear, I left to join him in the sitting room.

The most difficult thing to do was how to convey mama’s message to Dayo. In between mama’s room and the sitting room I wept bitterly. When I joined Dayo in the sitting room, he was agitated, knowing something was wrong. He looked at my face and held me tightly,

“What is the matter Kemi? Oh, I can guess, mama doesn’t like me right?”

It was a difficult question to answer. My tears became the answer to Dayo’s question. Dayo was bitter. He pleaded with me to let him go. I looked at my love being rejected by my mother as he walked away from me. I was grieved seeing him leav with his gifts.

I went back to mama, “Dayo is gone,” I said and my tears moved mama to tears too.

“Kemi, sit down here,” Mama ordered me to sit at her bedside. “I believe you know I love you and I will never allow you to enter into a marriage that will make you unhappy all your life. That boy is hot-tempered and he will kill you someday in anger,” Mama said.

“But you don’t even know him, how come you know he is hot-tempered?” I asked Mama.

“I know him my daughter. Your father will not forgive me in heaven if I allow you marry this boy. How long have you been together?” Mama asked.

“Two years,” I replied.

“And you don’t know he is hot-tempered?”

I kept mute because that was the only challenge I have with Dayo and I have been praying for him. I have seen him getting angry like thrice and his attitude was heartbreaking. But I could overlook it because I loved him and for the fact that no man is perfect.

“When your father was still alive, Samuel was sick and we were rushing him to the hospital in our car but because your father was under duress just to beat the traffic he mistakenly bashed the car in his front. The damage was minimal, just a scratch on his back bumper. He came out of his car and it was a young man.”

“Your dad came out and begged him, “please I am sorry my son, it was not intentional. I could call my mechanic to come to pick the car to his workshop for a repair.”

All your father’s plea fell on deaf ears as the young man began to rain terrible insults on your father. “You old fool, you think my car is like this your jalopy?”

“Sorry my son, I was rushing your younger brother to the hospital, hence I was in a hurry.”

“Who is my younger brother? To hell with him.”

At this time your dad was angry and asked the boy to do his worse. We were shocked when he went and grabbed an iron rod and broke our windscreen right in the presence of other commuters.

“One woman came out of her car and shouted at the boy, ” ‘how could you do this? Don’t you have elders in your family? ‘ ”

“He became so angry and slapped that woman. When others saw what he did, they all came to take vengeance for us but your father begged them not to take laws into their hands.”

“He entered his car and zoomed off. By the time we got to the hospital, your brother gave up the ghost. If we had got to the hospital earlier, your brother would probably still be alive today. You see why you can’t marry this boy, that is the boy who killed your brother.”

To be continued…

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My Hot Tempered Husband: Part 1

my hot tempered husband

I will never forget my decision on the 13th of April 20xx that led to the journey of bitterness in my life and marriage. I was a very simple and loving girl until I met Dayo. My mother warned me, but I never listened.

I thought I was in love, and love could overrule all shortcomings. I now agree with the adage that says, “what an elder will see while sitting down, a young person may not see even if he is standing on a tall tree”.

On the 13th of April, I brought Dayo to my mother to formally introduce him to her as my fiance. It was a Saturday morning and mother had been expectant since I told her I was bringing a special guest to see her. Her joy knew no bound when I told her of my plan to come home with Dayo. I had described the person of Dayo with mama.

How handsome and cute he was. Mama fell in love with Dayo even before she met him due to all I told mama about Dayo. The preparations for Dayo’s visit was like a woman expecting a king.

Which mother won’t be happy when her daughter is bringing a man of her choice to her; a Christian and a rich guy. Mama ensured she stocked the fridge and freezer with all manner of food and drinks just in preparation for Dayo’s visit.

At a time I was jealous because the preparation was just too much. I never had fear if mama will accept Dayo or not because every woman will like him even at first sight.

The long-awaited Dayo finally showed up. When I opened the door for him, I whispered to his ear, “mama will be happy to see you”. I was impressed with his outfit and I knew that will also impress mama because he was wearing white lace. White was mama’s favourite colour.

He bought many gifts for my mum, so we headed to his car to pick the items before joining mama in the sitting room.

“Mama, here is Dayo, my fiancé” I introduced my awaited man to mama. “Ekaro oko mi, “good morning my husband” my mother greeted Dayo.

“I have been waiting for you since my daughter told me you will be coming. I have prepared all manner of food and I want you to be free because this is your house. Please have your seat,” mama offered Dayo a seat.

“My son, what is your name? Mama asked Dayo. My name is Ekundayo Adeoye, Dayo replied.

Then mama looked at Dayo’s face, “Your name is Dayo? And you want to marry my daughter?”

“Yes mama,” Dayo replied with a smile. “I love her ma, and I will like to marry her” he added.

“That’s okay. Kemi offer him something to drink and join me in the kitchen now.” Mama said and headed to the kitchen. I was very happy that mama is flowing with Dayo.

I offered him orange juice and ran to join mama in the kitchen. When I met mama in the kitchen her countenance was not as good as it was when she left the sitting room. I was shocked seeing on my mum with a frowned face.

“Anything the matter mama?” I asked.

I was shocked with what mama told me in the kitchen.

To be continued….

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International Women’s Day 2019: #BalanceforBetter

International Women's Day 2019

Happy International Women’s Day!

As always, every 8th of March is set aside to celebrate women worldwide. And every year has a theme to mark the celebration.

The theme for International Women’s Day 2019 is: ‘Think equal, build smart, innovate for change‘.

The focus of the theme is on innovative ways in which to advance gender equality and the empowerment of women, particularly in the areas of social protection systems, access to public services and sustainable infrastructure. Of course, this includes women’s innovative contributions to society.

On this day it is customary for men to give the women in their lives – friends, mothers, wives, girlfriends, daughters, colleagues, etc. – small gifts. This is a show of appreciation for their contribution and sacrifice to developing society.

Investing in women and girls is necessary to achieve gender equality. And empowering especially rural women to achieve the goal of ending poverty and hunger is possible.

And this is how the story of fear and terror brought about a smar innovation…

A young mother and her 3 kids woke up to noises outside her window on the ground floor of her residence. She peeps outside and sees 5 terrifying armed robbers wielding big guns.

She was gripped by fear like never before. Her husband was away on a business trip and she couldn’t call him or her brothers who lived 5 minutes away. Not even the police could she call for fear that she would be overheard.

It was way past midnight and she could attract unwanted attention. The entire ordeal lasted for well over an hour!

So after the incident, she decided to invest her time and money into developing a mobile app that anyone can use to discreetly send out distress to close contacts and numbers in case of emergencies.

Marvel Dese Jime is the founder and CEO of the innovative ConstantSee App. We celebrate her for the innovation today to mark the International Women’s Day for 2019.

After downloading and setting up the app properly you can trigger emergencies, share current location, and track in real time.

You can send out silent distress to notify your emergency contacts of your distress and exact location. The app will send an alert and show your exact location so those alerted (up to 10 users)and then they can discreetly track your phone.

This is a great app built for safety and security and is very handy for emergencies. It is also 100% free! Naija Family Blog recognizes this as a smart innovation by a woman as we celebrate International Women’s Day 2019.

You can visit the ConstantSee App website to download the app. It is also available in the Apple store and Google play store to download for free.

Celebrate with your family, friends, and loved ones today. Let each one of us be our brother’s keeper and keep the people we love safe. Gender balance is essential for economies and communities to thrive.

Share and comment about what activities you marked the International Women’s Day with below if you marked it. #BalanceforBetter #IWD2019

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You can also read this 21 Life-saving Tips

Essential Steps to Take When Finding a Pediatrician

essential steps when finding a pediatrician

There is no more precious a day for parents than the day of your child’s birth.  On day two, however, you start to realize all of the questions you need answered and problems you need solved. One of the most pressing needs to be met is finding a pediatrician for your newborn.

The pediatrician you choose will be a large part of your new family for many years to come, so it is vital that you do your homework and ultimately be comfortable in your choice.

In the first year of your new baby’s life alone, you will be making upwards of six visits to the pediatrician for basic checkups. Plus, you’ll be there for any unexpected visits for their first cold or fever.

With that in mind, here are five great tips to help you in finding the pediatrician that is right for your baby and you.

1.  You cannot do enough research when finding a pediatrician

A great way to start this process is by asking fellow parents about the doctor they use.  Or, if you prefer, you can try an online service to find a pediatrician. Just remember when looking, that while it is essential to find a doctor that has the credentials and reviews that pass your test, it is also important to take into account their location, their hours (including after-hour care), and whether they accept your current insurance.

2.  Examine their experience and their credentials

Pediatricians are doctors that specialize in the care of children from birth to young adulthood.  When looking for a pediatrician, it is advisable to find one that has been trained at a reputable University.

Also, it is essential to find out how long this doctor has been practicing medicine and even the range of practice they have provided.  Has their entire history been in an office setting or have they also worked in environments like hospitals and urgent cares?  Are they currently operating in multiple environments?  It is not at all uncommon for a pediatrician to have regular office hours and also do rounds in a hospital environment for newborns.

3.  Make sure they are up to speed on the latest methods and practices

There may be no field that changes more rapidly than medicine.  When entrusting the health and well being of your newborn to a physician, it is crucial that they are staying current with all of the latest knowledge and practices in the medical field, especially when finding a pediatrician.

You will most likely be searching high and low on the internet for tips, tricks, and advice about how to care for your newborn, so make sure that your pediatrician is someone who has the experience and current understanding of best practices to be able to give you sound advice for the wealth of questions you will most certainly have.

4.  There is no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to finding a pediatrician

Even when you think you have found a doctor that is current in their practices and has a thorough and comprehensive background of training and experience, there is a chance you may just not get along with that person.  Maybe you feel a crying baby should always be picked up and your potential pediatrician thinks they should sometimes just “cry it out.”  There is more to this decision than just a résumé, so make sure this is someone you feel entirely comfortable with.

5.  What does your newborn think?

If you find someone that you think is a good fit but every time you go for a visit your baby does not seem to “click” with his/her new doctor, take note of that.  If this is something that continues, this may be a sign that it is time to reassess your choice.  This may not be anyone’s fault necessarily, but it is essential that your doctor has a great relationship with both you AND your baby. 

Remember, this is someone your child will be seeing for the next several years so be sure that you feel comfortable with that relationship moving forward.

Also read about Early Child Development.

You can also leave comments and share experiences below on how to help parents find and get a good pediatrician.

Written by Charles Davenport for Senior Planning. Senior Planning is a one-stop shop for senior resources, health resources, and care resources.

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