Monthly Archives: May 2018

My Brother: A Poem

my brother

I met a girl. She became my friend. Then my lover. Then my best friend and my lover. I thought we would marry one day.
Now we don’t speak anymore

I know a boy. We played in school. We were inseparable. As brothers. Time passed. We changed.
Now we don’t speak anymore

I met a man. We traveled together. 6 weeks. 18-24 hours a day, 7 days a week we spent together. He knows my darkest secrets. Our travels finished
Now we don’t speak anymore

I had a friend. We lived together for 2 years. Laugh together a lot. We left university. Had the best of intentions to keep close. Life got in the way
Now we barely speak anymore

I met a boy. We don’t speak so often. Not every day, sometimes not even every week. Time will pass and we will drift, apart then together, apart than together; caught in an eternal drift.

He knew the girl that was my lover
Knew the boy who was my play mate

He knew the man I traveled with
Also knew the friend I lived with

He’s seen them come. He’s seen them go. He’ll see them come, he’ll see them go.

That boy is my brother

Time has taught me and life has shown me – he’ll be by my side forever.

Because he’s my brother…

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How to Identify a Wife Material

how to identify a wife material

To be a good husband means you should know how to identify a wife material. You should already have a material in mind before going to the market to select a clothe. And you can take along your scissors in case your seller’s own isn’t sharp enough.

So, How do you Identify a wife material? Is it cashmere, a new bail material, silk, cotton, wool, or polymer? how many yards of material can you afford?

Identifying a wife material is very important. So, are you identifying for yourself or for someone else? Are you going to sew according to your size or you need the material in different shades? Lol.

To identify a wife material is a tricky and fun venture. Of course there are a lot of things to look out for when you are looking out for a good wife. Because you are meant to do that just once.

In identifying a wife material…

  1. She just likes you for who you are. She isn’t as bothered what  you are but loves you for being you.
  2. She is God-fearing and always prays for you.
  3. She is mature and you can trust her judgement.
  4. Respect is what you get anytime you are with her. Even behind you she respects you.
  5. She is kind to everyone especially children.
  6. You mom talks about her if they’ve ever met. And she likes to remind you to call family if you are far from them.
  7. She is industrious and skilled in everything she does.
  8. A wife material spends money for the right reasons and for the right things.
  9. If you love her meals then it counts as a plus to her being a wife material.
  10. No matter how popular or celebrated she is, she is humble.
  11. She is not tribalistic
  12. She knows what you like and what you dislike.
  13. Gives you space when you need some.
  14. You can’t stay angry at her for long as she always wants you to settle.

There are so many other ways to identify a wife material. If in doubt please feel free to “Ask your mummy or a mother figure.” Remember, you will not always find all these qualities and more in one woman. But the more you find, the luckier the man you are.

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Early Child Development: First 7 Years

early child development

Learning starts for children even before they are born. They can hear you when you talk. Especially the mother carrying them. Their learning happens through the interactions and relationships they have with the important people in their lives especially parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, early childhood tutors, and teachers. This interaction is important for early child development.

Pay attention and respond to the child. Because  you’re creating learning patterns, and all the experiences and interactions that the child has stimulates his brain. These experiences form millions of neurotic connections that build the skills she needs for life. Skills like thinking, communicating, managing emotions, and moving are all learnt this way.

Playing is how children discover, explore and learn about the world around them. Through play, children make friends, build confidence, regulate emotions, and learn and develop many skills like sharing. And when children pick up these new skills, they’re building on everything they’ve learned already. The way children play changes as they get older due to maturity.

Babies love interacting with people and discovering their environment. For babies, the best toy they have is you. Because you can talk and also move. Toddlers and younglings use their imagination to play in creative and dramatic ways, which help them understand their world better. And for school-age children, play is a chance to have fun and unwind from the routines and rules of school.

Exploring through play is very natural for children. Whether your child plays with you, with others, or on his own, your support and encouragement of play is important for his learning. Don’t discourage them from playing as it contributes positively to early child development. The skills your child develops in these early years build a foundation for all the future learning and development he will do throughout life.

Your child’s development and individual differences are shaped by lots of things: his surroundings, family, school, neighbourhood, teachers, and the wider community. It still takes the village to raise the child. And he inherits characteristics from his parents, such as what he looks like, and some aspects of his physical and mental health.

All these and many other factors combine to build up children’s well-being and skills in their early years. Supporting your child to develop warm, nurturing, and empathetic relationships during his early years is important. This helps him interact with others, build and use his skills and independence. They can as well manage and bounce back from day-to-day challenges in their early years of life. Sleep is also an important factor to early child development.

Understanding your child, how he plays, know what he can do on his own, and what he needs support with. This is important to promote their independence and learning and creative problem-solving abilities.

Your child is an amazing learner – a little sponge that soaks up everything it can. The everyday experiences you share with each other all help your child to feel valued, loved, and support their learning and mental development.

The first 7 years of their lives are very critical and they carry over what they have learned over the years into teenage.

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Why Men Seem to Die Earlier Than Women

why men seem to die earlier than women

You may not have noticed or thought about it but it doesn’t just seem so; it is actually so. Men are really dying by the day.

Though women experience higher stress levels and are more prone to depression and anxiety… Women earn less than men, and in many countries. They don’t have the same human rights as men. Despite the social inequality women in the society, they live longer than men. This is a peculiar case all over the world. How come?

Traditionally, the difference in life expectancy between the sexes is usually blamed on the greater and goofier risks taken by men – in terms of accidents, illnesses, and other goofy acts linked to lifestyles that lead to fatal injuries, heart disease, and cancer. High testosterone levels are associated with risk-taking and aggression in younger males and with heart disease and prostate cancer in later life.

The biological advantage that women have has also been that during birth, male-child mortality is higher at birth. And more generally, the genetic difference between the male and female sexes is that women stand a better resistance to biological ageing. Women are found to produce more infection-fighting white blood cells than men of the same age. Another reason why men seem to die earlier too. They can’t withstand the stress internally for too long and let it out effectively.

Other Reasons Why Men Seem to Die Earlier Than Women

Women cry and let it go. Not men or boys. “Big boys don’t cry.” They hold it in until it kills them

Men don’t MENstruate! They don’t lose blood often enough to get refreshed. Losing or donating blood rejuvenates. And since women menstruate they have an edge over men who use same old blood till death.

Men by far outnumber women in some of the riskiest occupations, including military combat, firefighting, and working at like construction sites. The risks and hazards associated with the job is why men seem to die earlier than women.

Men die of heart diseases and attacks more often and at a younger age. This can be attributed in a way to too much thinking.

It is said that men commit suicide more often than women. Well, not black men and especially not Nigerian men.

A man will die several deaths before he goes to the hospital for checkup. Except he is taken in unconscious. Most men keep the health problem of especially prostrate to themselves till it becomes critical. They’d rather die many times than allow a doctor finger their bum checking for a healthy prostate.

Most women are married to men older than them. So naturally, they die before their younger wives. In most cases it better comparatively as the women are better caretakers of the home than men. And honestly, women care for children more than men.

‘Na woman go kill you!’…some have been told. But finally, something kills a man.

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7 Things You Must Teach Your Child as a Parent

things you must teach your child

There are certain things you must teach your child as a parent. And having a teenager especially means having a young adult under your care. These are the making or marring years in their lives. It is not easy monitoring or training a child but if you start early in their childhood then it is nothing to worry about.

Children, as they grow, undergo changes physically, emotionally and psychologically especially around puberty. This is evident in their adventurous risk-taking, friends, and actions  to mention but a few.

Here are 7 things you must teach your child as a parent. Teach them:

1. Respect

Teach them to respect you and others around them. If you love your child(-ren) and you want them to live long then teach them to respect you the parents and every other person older than them within and without the house. This is one major secret of long life. To not teach them respect is to cut their lives short.

2. Empathy

Teach them to have a heart. Teach them to have human feelings and show love when necessary. Teach them to give and share with others. It could even start with how they treat a pet. The way the child treats a cat or dog tells a lot about them in this aspect.

3. Confidence!

Kids who don’t act or look confident  kids that get bullied easily. It is easier for bullies to pick on such kids easily than outspoken kids. They should learn to stand for themselves. Tell them to speak up if bullied. Confidence is a key thing among things you teach must teach a child.

4. To Apologize

Teach a child to say I AM SORRY when corrected. It is not just okay to tell them what they have done wrong if it was unintentional. But they should also be taught the right thing to replace the wrong one. If the wrong was done intentionally, then they should also apologize and repent of it.

Read also Essence of Family

5. Appreciation

Equally important, they should learn to appreciate every gesture from parents and anyone who gifts them something no matter how little it may seem. Parents should teach children to be grateful for whatever they are able to provide. Teach them to say THANK YOU from an early age.

6. Shun Cultism and Substance abuse

Get involved in their day to day lives and know who their friends are and what kinds of friends they keep. Most kids and teenagers who do drugs are mostly the ones that don’t have parents who are involved in their lives. Active parenting requires to know what is going on in child(-ren)’s lives and ask questions especially when they are withdrawn or behaving funny. Parents MUST tell their kids to shun cultism and substance abuse and remind them of the consequences.

7. Independence

There is no better thing a parent wants to see like/than seeing their once little baby that needed diaper change hour-on-hour now fending for themselves and even trying to cater for them the parents. It makes parents proud. That is why a father can sit among his friends and beat his chest. And a mother can also gossip in the marketplace about her child who is doing well. Set your children up to fend for themselves because you will not always be around to do everything for them. Teach them to be especially financially independent by learning how to start saving early in life

8. To be Responsible

Lastly, teach them to be responsible both in conduct and  for their actions. From personal dressing to public conduct they have to look and be responsible. Sagging or skimpy dressing and tattoos also make people have reservations about character

Everything parents teach children is a form of training they will grow old with. There are more things you must teach your child as a parent but we picked these 7 to share.

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